The Three Little Pigs and the Big Bad Wolfwood
by Kuroneko31
Summary: Since the series has ended, the Trigun cast has nowhere to work and is a bit low on cash. With there last desperate attempt, they try out there acting skills. The cast was then forced to work under a director named Kuroneko.


The Tree Little Pigs and the Big Bad Wolfwood  
  
By Kuroneko14  
  
Summary : Since the series has ended, the Trigun cast has nowhere to work and is a bit low on cash. With there last desperate attempt, they try out there acting skills. The cast was then forced to work under a director named Kuroneko.  
  
Disclaimer: I... *twitch* don't...*twitch* own...*twitch* Trigun. *twitch twitch* There! I said it!  
  
Note : this is my first fanfic, so don't kill me if it's bad! *sweat drop*  
  
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Kuroneko : *appears out of nowhere* Okay everyone, I have great news! We, as in you guys, get to go onstage and act out a fairy tale of our choice next week!  
  
Milly : Wow! That's wonderful! We should act out The Little Red Ridding hood!  
  
Wolfwood : What the? I refuse to be in a little kid's play!  
  
Vash : *sarcastically* Now now Wolfwood, you have to do whatever Kuroneko-sama says.  
  
Wolfwood : Oi! Who's side are you on, anyway!?  
  
Kuroneko : *interrupts Vash and Wolfwood's little fight* Well, since I'm the director, I get to chose!  
  
Meryl : So what fairy tale, exactly, are we going to perform onstage?  
  
Kuroneko : We're going to act out... *an evil grin appears on her face* The Three Little Pigs!!  
  
Vash, Wolfwood, and Meryl : *shocked* WHA!?!?!?!  
  
Kuroneko : Yep, you herd me. The Three Little Pigs!  
  
Milly : Wow! That's even better then The Little Red Ridding Hood!  
  
Meryl : Milly! Do you even know what you're saying!?  
  
Milly :Yes sempai. Why?  
  
Meryl : *frustrated* Never mind.  
  
Kuroneko : All right minna, I've printed out the scripts! *hands some papers to everyone*  
  
*moment of silence for the cast to read their parts*  
  
Wolfwood : WHAT!?! I demand a new role!!  
  
Vash : Your part can't be that bad now, can it? *looks over* HAHAHAHAHA!!! You're the wolf!  
  
Wolfwood : Shudup! Why do I have to be the villain? Why not Knives?  
  
Kuroneko : Well, your name IS Wolfwood. I think it's a nice role for you. Besides, Knives is a pig.  
  
Wolfwood : I still don't wanna!  
  
Kuroneko : Sorry Wolfwood, but you're not going to change roles. Anyway, Meryl is the narrator, Vash is pig #1, Milly is pig #2 and... Oi, where'd Knives go!?  
  
Vash : I told him to get some donuts! I hope he gets back soon.  
  
Kuroneko : Err, ok. I guess we'll just have to start the rehearsal without him. *runs into the room with all the stage props and reappears with a wolf costume and two pig outfits* Here you go! Hurry up and get into your outfits!  
  
Wolfwood : What!? There's no way I'm going to wear that in front of everyone!  
  
Kuroneko : *whacks Wolfwood on the head* If you don't get into that outfit, I'm going to deduct from your paycheck.  
  
Wolfwood : Ok! Ok! Fine, you win!  
  
Meryl : You're pretty pathetic.  
  
Wolfwood : Oi! I need money!  
  
Kuroneko : *takes the cigarette out of Wolfwood's mouth* You shouldn't smoke while onstage. It's bad for the kids.  
  
Wolfwood : Give me back my cigarette!  
  
Kuroneko : No. *takes the pack of cigarettes*  
  
Knives : *finally comes back with a bag of donuts in his hands* Damn you Vash! I had to pay 5 double dollars for these!  
  
Milly : But Knives-san, that's not too much.  
  
Meryl : It is for that idiot.  
  
Knives : *pops a vein*  
  
Vash : *takes the bag of donuts and starts devouring them* Hey, these are really good! Want some?  
  
Kuroneko : No Thanks. *gives Knives his script along with the pig outfit* Here you go Knives. Next week, we get to perform The Three Little Pigs, and your apart of it! If you refuse, I'll dock your paycheck and kill some innocent butterflies!  
  
Knives : *sweat drop* Fine.  
  
Kuroneko : Time to start the rehearsal! Quiet on the set!  
  
Everyone : *stares at each other and there weird looking outfits*  
  
Kuroneko : Ok people, happy faces now! Let's make some movie magic!  
  
Meryl : "The Three Little Pigs." Once upon a time, there were three little pigs.  
  
Milly : Hi! I'm a pig!  
  
Vash : *sarcastically* Oink oink.  
  
Knives : *laughs evilly* Ha! At least I'm not a human! A pig is more superior!  
  
Vash : Knives! I told you to drop that!  
  
Kuroneko : Oi, stick to the script!  
  
Vash : Hai.  
  
Meryl : The pigs decided to part their ways and build their own homes.  
  
Knives : We shall meet again Vash!!  
  
Meryl : The first pig built her house out of hay.  
  
Milly : Umm, sempai, where's the hay?  
  
Kuroneko : *slaps self in the head* I forgot! *runs into the prop room and returns with all the necessary props*  
  
Milly : *builds a perfect little house of hay* Tada!  
  
Meryl : The second pig built his house out of sticks.  
  
Vash : *tries his best to build a house but fails* These sticks won't stay! Will someone hand me the glue?  
  
Meryl : *gives a bottle of wood glue to Vash* Here.  
  
Vash : *build a half decent home with glue dripping all over* There! My masterpiece is finally completed!  
  
Meryl : *sweat drops* And the third and smartest pig of the three build his house out of bricks.  
  
Knives : MUAHAHAHAHA!!! I told you that I am superior to you humans and my idiot brother! *builds a mediocre house*  
  
Kuroneko : Try to stick to the script please!  
  
Knives : I don't have to obey the talk of a human!  
  
Kuroneko : I'm not a human. I'm a cat. Nyaa!  
  
Knives : Oh, I suppose that's okay.  
  
Meryl : Uhh... Well anyway, one day, after the little pigs settled into their new homes, a shady character decides to visit them.  
  
Wolfwood : *enters with the goofy looking wolf costume* Why do I have to wear this again?  
  
Kuroneko : You have to because I said so. Now continue with the play!  
  
Meryl : The wolf went to the first little pig's house. The one who's house is made of hay.  
  
Wolfwood : * in an uninterested tone* Oh little pig, little pig, please let me come in!  
  
Milly : *opens the door* Hi Mr. Wolfwood. Did you come to visit me?  
  
Meryl : Milly! You're supposed to lock the door and not let him in!  
  
Kuroneko : Arigato Meryl!  
  
Meryl : You're welcome.  
  
Milly : *slams the door shut on Wolfwood's foot* Sorry Mr. Wolfwood priest sir, but by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin, I can not let you in!  
  
Wolfwood : Ite!! That hurt!  
  
Kuroneko : Script!  
  
Wolfwood : * sarcastically * Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down.  
  
Meryl : So he huffed, and he puffed, and he blew the house down.  
  
Wolfwood : *huffs, and puffs, and coughs* Hey Kuroneko, give me back my cigarettes!  
  
Kuroneko : No.  
  
Wolfwood : *coughs* I need my cigarettes back! *gasps*  
  
Kuroneko : Fine. *gives the pack of cigarettes back*  
  
Wolfwood : *lights a cigarette and blows a puff of smoke which happens to float over to the house of hay and knocks it over*  
  
Meryl : Nani? Does that count?  
  
Kuroneko : *sweat drops* Hey, whatever works.  
  
Milly : *runs towards Vash's house*  
  
Wolfwood : *chases after*  
  
Meryl : After the house blew down, nothing remained but a big pile of hay. The first pig had escaped and ran towards her brother's house for shelter.  
  
Milly : *runs into Vash's house and slams the door on Wolfwood's foot again*  
  
Wolfwood : Hey! Stop slamming the door on me!!  
  
Vash : Sorry Wolfwood, but by the hair on our chinny, chin, chin, we can not let you in!  
  
Wolfwood : Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!  
  
Meryl : So the wolf huffed, and he puffed, and he...  
  
Wolfwood : *interrupts Meryl* I can't blow the house down! Vash used too much glue! *attempts to blow the house down again but fails*  
  
Kuroneko : Ah, just kick it down or something  
  
Wolfwood : Okay, whatever you say Kuroneko-sama. *kicks at the house till it finally falls down*  
  
Meryl : After the wolf blows... err... kicks the house down, the two pigs have already escaped and headed towards the third pig's house.  
  
Vash : *runs straight into the door, not realizing that it was locked* OWIE!!! My face hurts!! *bangs on the door* Knives, open the door and let us in!  
  
Knives : No! Not until you pay me back for the donuts!  
  
Vash : Fine! I will!  
  
Knives : *opens the door and lets Vash in, then closes it right after* You can come in, Vash, but not Milly because she's a human.  
  
Milly : Please let me in Knives-san sir!  
  
Vash : *opens up the back door to let Milly in* That's not very nice knives! *closes and locks the door*  
  
Knives : Damn you Vash! You let her it!  
  
Meryl : When the three little pigs were united once again, the wolf finally arrived at the door.  
  
Wolfwood : Oh little pigs, little pigs, let me come in.  
  
Knives : By the hair on our chinny, chin, chin, I will not let you in, you pathetic human!  
  
Kuroneko : Knives, stick to the script! How many times have I said that to you guys?  
  
Milly : I don't know. Maybe around five times?  
  
Meryl : So the wolf huffed, and he puffed, and he tried to blow the house down.  
  
Wolfwood : *tries to blow the house down with the smoke from the cigarette* Hey, it didn't work this time! I think he used cement!  
  
Knives : Well duh, that's what you use to build a brick house.  
  
Wolfwood : Then I will just climb down your chimney then!  
  
Vash : Oh no you don't! *takes out his colt and starts shooting out the window*  
  
Wolfwood : What the? Vash! No shooting!  
  
Knives : Use your Angel Arm Vash!  
  
Vash : No way! I won't use it no matter what!  
  
Wolfwood : *climbs up the roof and drops down the chimney with the Cross Punisher like Santa Claws*  
  
Milly : Hey look! St. Nick just dropped threw the chimney!  
  
Wolfwood : YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!! *files back out of the chimney from landing in a pot of boiling water* I though the water was suppose to be fake! Or at least not burning hot!  
  
Kuroneko : I couldn't help it. *evil grin*  
  
Wolfwood : Why you little! *tries to shoot Kuroneko with the Cross Punisher but misses*  
  
Kuroneko : You missed! Haha!  
  
Everyone except Meryl : *trying to kill each other*  
  
Knives : You shall all die you pathetic humans!  
  
Everyone else : Shuddup you demented psychotic genocidal maniac!!  
  
Meryl : *watches the entire stage topple over in disbelief*  
  
Kuroneko : *manages to sneak out of the scuffle and runs into the prop room, only to return with an indestructible tank* MAHAHAHA!!! Not even your Angel Arms can stop this tank! *chases everyone with the tank*  
  
Vash : Hold on everybody, this land is made of.... made of... LOVE AND PEACE!! *does the little "Love and Peace" stance from episode 4*  
  
Kuroneko : *sweat drops* Uhh.... Too bad!! *chases the cast into the distance*  
  
~Owari! ^^ --------------------------------------------------  
  
Ok, that was one bizarre fic. o.O Weird ending, ne? But then again, I Typed this at 3:00 am. Anyways, Thanks for reading my first fanfic! 


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